i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
