She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
