Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
