it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
