bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
