I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
