careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
