he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
