Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
