IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
third nipple confirmed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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