what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
