I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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