I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
