I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
