I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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