Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
