I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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