so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
