I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
