i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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