There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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