cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
