Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Less talking, more tequila
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
