Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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