Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
