Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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