So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
