your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't deserve a penis
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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