was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
