I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
