she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This baby is an asshole
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
