I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
