You're my little dorito
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
