somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
