i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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