Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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