Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
