Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
