Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
