please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
