If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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