All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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