yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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