yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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