Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have aggressive nipples.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
