I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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