I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
