dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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