Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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