so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
