im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Found the puke drawer
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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