and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
actually, I'm a sock model
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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