He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
