I just pynch a tree in the face
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
