careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
