Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
